zen

i haven't posted in several weeks because i have been resting.  rest is exactly what i need.  i work very hard (too hard most times) and give to others (often to the detriment of myself).  the holiday season provided me with a much-needed break from the daily hustle.  i was able to reconnect with family, friends, and myself.  i did a bit of traveling and read good books along the way.  i cooked and listened to new music.  i laughed and remembered the things that make me happy. 

life can be stressful.  but it doesn't have to be.  during my vacation, i met people who "rush for no one."  i talked to my elders, who reminded me that slowing down will happen - whether i choose it or not. 

i am so thankful for the chance to just be.  i've laid in bed for hours.  just being.  i've talked to great minds.  and we just were.  i went to church and connected with God.  we are. 

last year was hard.  this year might be too.  but i will keep my center.

hny.

-L

hope matters

lately, many of my thoughts, interactions, and conversations have centered on hope.  earlier in the week, i relied on hope to continue on, even in the face of challenging situations.  that very same hope helped me rethink the challenges and find viable solutions.  in the same way, i have been seeing hope "show up" in my life in a variety of ways.  namely with friends and colleagues, who are looking forward to a goal, but are currently struggling with the steps to achieve it.  it's been nice to help people who are clutching on to hope and renewing their faith in their own abilities.  also, i've reflected on the ways that hope has gotten me and my loved ones to this point.  the power of hope cannot be overstated.  sometimes, it is the only thing that keeps us going.

as someone who always aims to improve, i recognize hope as the catalyst for my efforts.  if i did not believe that things could be better, i would not try as much as i do - both personally and professionally.  if i could not envision a better tomorrow, next week, or next year, then i would surely settle and be complacent.  but hope matters.  it, i argue, is the very foundation of my progress.

the phrase "hold on to hope" is powerful.  if we let hope go, even for a little while, we lose the capacity to try.

hopefully,

-L

it gets easier

 

after the disaster that was monday, things have gotten easier.  one of my biggest flaws has and continues to be my inability to withstand challenging times.  on monday, i was thinking of "escape routes" and "panic buttons" instead of focusing on effective and long-term solutions to issues.  and while i have a persistent spirit, i find it challenging to stick to things that seem utterly hopeless.  but, a good night's sleep, time, and small wins have brought me back.  i feel better.  and sure, the circumstance hasn't changed drastically...but my attitude has.

arguably, when your perspective changes, things get easier.

-L

hard

today was rough.  it was long, stressful, and overwhelming.  i often heard my inner voice asking "why can't this be easier?" or "what choices did i make to get here?"  the hardest part about today is that i fear it will continue.

but if i've learned nothing else in my 27 years, i've learned that i have to water my own grass.  i have to take the bumps as learning lessons and improve.

so tonight, i'll pout over a cup of chamomile tea and inhale patchouli incense while i exhale stress.  sure, today was hard. but, there's always tomorrow.

-L

agreed...

...with every piece of this

-L

musical therapy

spent the past few days reflecting, enjoying much-needed time off, catching up with friends, and listening to d'angelo.  there's something about his music that calms me down.  mostly, i keep the music so low that i can't hear the lyrics but the velvety tone of his voice and the drawn out beats are enough.  

his music allows me to do, mentally, what i have been doing physically - clear out the clutter and focus.  the important things rise to the top and those usually aren't the things about which i worry.  sure, life can be stressful but when i relax enough to see, feel, and smell (especially when i'm burning incense) those things that really matter...i recognize that life is good.  really.  good.

-L

without you

i have decided to spend more time cultivating my connections with others.  now that i have fewer things, many of which were distractions, i have more time and mental bandwidth to focus on the people for whom i care and vice versa.

honestly, it's been one of the best decisions i have made. 

most would envy my social network, which is filled to the brim with the most interesting and interested people.  unfortunately, i have neglected these relationships in the past.  it's proved to be fruitless.  and even after initially realizing it, i kept declining invitations or being a general flake.  but you know what's dope?  fostering relationships with people.  because honestly, i can live without material things, but my friends and family...they are irreplaceable.

<3

-L